Week 3 - The Impossible Life: Weekly Reflections on Faith, Pain, and Triumph

Week 3: Falling Fast but Dreaming Hard — When Life Became a Blur

By Elizabeth M. Ford

🌀 From Innocence to Instability

There’s a shift in every story; a before and after.

For me, it came in my pre-teen years.

By the time I was 12, the world had already taught me hunger, abandonment, and silence. But now, it was showing me how easy it was to fall, and how hard it would be to climb back up.

I started smoking cigarettes. I then went to marijuana and experimented with things I didn’t understand but desperately hoped would dull the pain. I was spiraling, and I didn’t even realize it.

There was no “rock bottom” moment. It was more like a slow sinking every poor decision feeding the next, every moment of sadness turning into rebellion.

⚠️ Kicked Out, Locked Up, Written Off

I was kicked out of 7th grade.

Yes, seventh. That first year of middle school felt like a warning bell that no one around me seemed to hear.

I was charged with breaking and entering in court, placed on probation, and sent to a small alternative school with only 13 students, each of us broken in different ways. But the truth? That school only made things worse.

It became a place where we sat around talking about how bad our lives were. Instead of healing, we fed our wounds with hopelessness. There was no solution. No direction. No belief that life could look any different.

When I returned to “regular” school, the secretary looked at me and said, “So, are you going to act right now?”

That one sentence told me everything I needed to know. I wasn’t seen. I was labeled.

So I withdrew. I got angry again. I stopped trying.

🙁 Who Cares? No One Cares.

I fell into a cycle of skipping school, getting suspended for doing things I shouldn't, and surviving inside my own numbness. My mom was still in and out of hospitals. My father was a sore wound I refused to touch or try to see if there was any hope there.

And I told myself the lie so many broken kids believe:

“No one cares about me. So why should I care about anything?”

I came dangerously close to giving up. I started to hurt myself to feel something. Moving through boyfriends even at that age already to find love if it was real. I was just about willing to do and try anything but, I just felt over each time. But always, my dreams came back and I knew this couldn't be it. There had to be more.

***If you or someone you know is in crisis with anything, drugs, mental health, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org If you are trying to reach a 988 call center in Virginia using an out-of-state area code, you can call 703-752-5263. or call 911***

✨ But the Dream Was Still There

Even in the dark, there was something in me that refused to die.

Somewhere deep inside, I kept whispering:

“One day, I’ll have more. I don’t know how, but I have to believe I will.”

And that tiny spark, the dream is what kept me alive.

🎓 Out of School, Into Survival

In 9th grade, after failing in yet another alternative school, my mom signed me out. I took my GED, passed, and said goodbye to school forever.

I told myself:

“Now I can work. I’ll earn. I’ll be free. I’ll be okay.”

But freedom didn’t come so easily.

I had no roadmap. No mentor. No parent teaching me how to adult.

So I “tried” things.

Multiple Boyfriends, Jobs, Bad decisions, Survival.

I ended up evicted, and homeless, living in a Red Roof Inn, paying day-to-day with tips to avoid sleeping on the street. I had no safety net. My mom wouldn’t help me. And my pride and pain kept me from calling my dad.

I had no idea what came next.

So I did the only thing I could:

I worked as many shifts at the restaurant that I could get. I kept going. I kept dreaming.

💬 This Week’s Truth: You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

If you’re in a season where everything feels like trial and error, hear me:

You don’t have to know the whole plan. You just have to refuse to quit. Don't give up!

I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew I wanted more. I dreamed of stability. Of peace. Of a clean, safe life. Of love.

And those dreams mattered.

Even if they felt impossible.

🔥 Overcomer Challenge:

This week, take 10 minutes to write down:

• A dream you’re scared to say out loud.

• One small, scary, or messy step you can take toward that dream.

  • Baby steps will get you to your dream. Write it down and take the step now.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need enough courage to try. What do you want in life?

💌 Final Words

It’s easy to look at someone’s success and forget what they crawled through to get there.

This blog isn’t just about what I’ve overcome. It’s about what I’ve survived through sheer grit, prayer, and the refusal to stop dreaming and trying. Remember dreams are just dreams until you take steps. Don't ever stop taking the next step.

If you feel stuck, alone, or like your life is one big “try” after another you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

Keep dreaming. Keep walking. Your way out might not be a straight path, but it is ahead.

With grit and grace,

Elizabeth M. Ford

Founder of BetterALife | Survivor | Dreamer | Overcomer

***If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org If you are trying to reach a 988 call center in Virginia using an out-of-state area code, you can call 703-752-5263.***