Week 13: The Price Tag of Change

Week 13: The Price Tag of Change

This week I felt the weight again. The weight of leadership. Of caring. Of carrying stories that are not mine, but still break my heart. Have you felt this too?

As the founder of BetterALife, I hear a lot. Stories from children. From their parents. From teenagers. From communities trying and from communities stuck. I have seen tears stream down the faces of little ones who should never have had to carry so much weight in their tiny hearts. And sadly, I have seen the other side too; parents who tell me all the right things with their mouths, but whose actions say something very different.

Sometimes it feels like I am looking into a mirror of my past and with my mother. Other times, it feels like I am fighting the same battles again, but now on behalf of someone else.

I was called to this. I firmly believe it. God made a way through all I have been through so I could be strong enough to help someone else who is going through it not to have to suffer so long as I did. Set up by the life I lived. All the broken pieces that God gathered and used to build something meaningful, something that now serves others.

But I will be honest, some days are hard. And some days I even want to give up on the kids that keep pretending to take help but refusing it. My husband reminded me yesterday it is the enemy trying to take these kids, and to keep fighting for them. So I will. We can't stop or else change will never come.

Lets be honest, it is hard to keep believing in people who do not yet believe in themselves. It is hard to stand beside a parent who has every resource in front of them and still chooses the comfort of their chaos over the courage of change to help them and their child/children. It is hardest for me personally to watch teens give up scholarships, mentorships, and opportunities because staying where they are is easier than growing into who they were born to be.

Growing is hard. I know it.

Growing and change is also scary.

But growing is also necessary.

I used to teach Bible study in the local jails for about twelve years. I saw this same pattern there. Women would pray. Read. Believe. Then leave, and either go right back to what they knew or take that terrifying first step into something new.

You know what separated the ones who thrived from the ones who relapsed?

The ones who changed their view.

The ones who left their old neighborhood.

They left their friend groups.

They left the environment where their name was already attached to a label.

They moved completely!

They changed their surroundings literally, and began again.

And when they did that, I watched something miraculous happen: doors began to open, mothers got jobs, they even got their babies back! Success happened, peace happened and new lives began.

So let me ask you:

Are you stuck, or are you just comfortable living how you are today because change would be just to much work and you can't even see a way to start?

Are you walking the same path every day, passing the same pain, looking out the same window with the same tired view?

Then maybe it’s time to change the view.

Life has taken me through more transitions than I can count. From family to no family, from abuse to freedom, from dropout to college graduate, from homeless to homeowner, from hunger to feeding others.

And do you want to know the one common thread?

Change.

It came with a price tag. A high one. One I had to pay over and over again. Sometimes it cost me comfort. Other times it cost me people I thought I needed. Sometimes it cost me my pride, my sleep, or my sense of direction.

But every single time, change gave me something better in return.

So here is your challenge:

If you want a different life, you must take different steps.

Do not just wish for a new life, walk toward it and into it.

Create a plan.

Write it down.

Find a mentor!

And let me be honest here; get a mentor who is not in your current circle.

Someone who has already walked the road of success and knows the cost.

Because if you keep learning from the same people who are stuck with you,

you will stay exactly where you are, stuck.

Change your view.

Change your life.