Week 12: I Am Still Becoming

Elizabeth Ford
Jul 13, 2025
5 min read

Week 12: I Am Still Becoming

There was a moment this week, just a regular Tuesday morning, getting ready for work, when I looked at myself in the mirror and heard a thought in my head, “I am still becoming.” Not who I used to be. Not yet who I fully want to be. But someone worth honoring in the process.

Sometimes healing does not show up like fireworks. Sometimes it comes in the quiet moments, when you no longer flinch at the sound of a door opening, or when you catch yourself smiling without even realizing it.

I have lived a life that most people would not believe if it was not written down in front of them. Abuse. Poverty. Being unseen. Being discarded. Being told I was less. For so many years, I believed them.

But this version of me?

She does not live by those words anymore.

This week, I thought about the young girl I was. The one asking for quarters so I could eat, scrubbing socks that were worn and soaked with hard foot oil—this is what happens when you overuse your socks too much without having a way of cleaning them—in the bathroom sink using bar soap. The one who sang her heart out day in and day out just to survive the pain and fears I lived in growing up.

She did not know her voice would one day help others find their own.

She had no idea she would become a wife, a mother, a speaker, a leader, a light.

And yet, here I am.

It is easy to think healing is a destination. But I have come to realize it is a decision.

One you make again and again.

Even when you feel tired.

Even when you fall back into old fears or old patterns that you have to break again.

This week, I reminded myself of this:

Just because you came from trauma does not mean you have to stay in survival mode.

When a trauma memory comes up, speak it out.

Remind yourself it is the past, and you made it through.

You no longer live in trauma or fear.

This was a hard reminder the other year for me.

My stepdaughter is a young adult and has type one diabetes. At the time, she was managing her blood sugars on her own. Then one evening, I was on a call with my board of directors and heard an odd sound from upstairs.

When I went up, I walked into another moment that would leave a scar and a full stutter in my speech.

It was so bad my doctors said I needed physical therapy to heal it. They even did an MRI on my brain to see if something else had occurred. But it was fear. Just fear.

My stepdaughter had crashed through her bed onto the floor, breaking a full wooden frame. She had gone into a diabetic low earlier that day while my husband and I were at work.

Her room was such a disaster, I could not even find her blood sugar monitor to see if she was high or low. I could not help her the way I needed to. I am also physically disabled with ankylosing spondylitis; something I will share more about later, but she was too heavy for me to lift.

All I could do was call 911 and wait.

During that time, she could only moan before passing out again and again. I would yell to keep her awake, and she would groan and slip away. Seven minutes passed before help arrived. It felt like an eternity. My husband, who was coaching football that night, was thirty five minutes away.

She was rushed to the ICU and fell into a coma for a week.

She survived, and her life went back to normal.

But that night changed me.

It created a stutter in my speech that took over a year to heal. Even now, almost two years later, if I get overstimulated or anxious, the stutter randomly returns.

Living in stress and anxiety can physically manifest in ways we do not expect.

I had to learn how to let go.

To give it to God.

To move forward, knowing I am strong enough to endure anything.

And most importantly, I had to give myself grace.

Do not let others rush your healing. So many people can easily tell you that “you should be okay by now.”

You heal at your own pace. And that is okay.

I get to enjoy life now.

I get to feel joy, even if it is unfamiliar.

I get to be proud of how far I have come.

And so do you.

If no one told you this today, let me be the first:

You are doing better than you think.

You are stronger than you know.

You are becoming someone beautiful.

One choice at a time.

And if you need a simple reminder, do this:

Each week, take time to write down at least one good win from your week. I promise, there are weeks I think I have none. But when I sit down and look closely, I find many. Just write everything no matter how small that was or felt positive and see your wins. Live in your wins.

It is a beautiful way to see that you are moving forward, no matter how many steps it takes.

This is a huge thank you to my business coach Mrs. Tina Johnson, the founder of the CEO Consulting Group for teaching me this.

It is a small task that has huge benefits for your mental health and your progress.

❤️ Heart Truths & Reflection – Week 12

Truth #1: You are allowed to change.

Healing is not about returning to who you used to be. It is about discovering who you were always meant to become.

Reflect:

In what ways have you seen yourself change over the past year?
What part of you are you most proud of today?

Truth #2: Survival is not your permanent address.

You may have come from trauma, but you do not have to keep living in survival mode. You are safe now. You can breathe.

Reflect:

What survival habits or reactions do you notice in yourself that no longer serve you?
How can you begin to replace one of those habits with something healing this week?

Truth #3: It is okay to heal slowly.

Healing is not a race. There is no finish line. There is just one step at a time, and grace along the way.

Reflect:

Have you ever felt pressure to “be over” something too quickly?
How would it feel to give yourself permission to take all the time you need?

Truth #4: Your body remembers, but so does your spirit.

Trauma can show up in our bodies, but so can strength. What has hurt you may have shaped you, but it does not define you.

Reflect:

Where do you feel anxiety or stress in your body? What helps you release it?
What does your body need today to feel safe and supported?

Truth #5: Your story gives others permission to speak.

By sharing your truth, you are helping others find their voice. Even the parts you think are too messy to matter. Those are the ones that shine brightest.

Reflect: